Unlocking the Heart

A One Day Journey into Hope

1. Goals for the Day
   1. To take a personal inventory of our hearts.
   2. To discover the emotional pain we carry.
   3. To write our life’s story from the perspective of what damaged our hearts.

   4. To identify the people and family members that hurt us and to choose to forgive them.
   5. To map out our damaged relationships
   6. To identify the core pain in our hearts.
   7. To experience the power of confession and bringing our pain to Jesus in prayer.
2. The Personal Heart Exam
   1. This test measures the 12 different types of locked hearts we can experience.
   2. It also measures the 13 different sins of the heart we can carry.
   3. It contains a self-scoring key at the end of the test.
   4. Contains prayers at the end to resolve the issues we discover in our heart.
3. The Emotional Pain Words Worksheet
   1. This list contains over 100 words to express pain we can experience on a regular basis in life.
   2. Circle as many or few items as you wish.
   3. Once you have done that go back and assign a number between 1 and 10 based on how intense the pain is.
   4. Pay attention to those 7 and above.
4. The Damaged Relationships Worksheet
   1. This is a map to help you determine what relationships were damaged in your life and by whom.
   2. The map has four sides and each side has different categories of issues that may have damaged your heart.
   3. It includes only your immediate family members.
   4. Pressure patterns are those emotional pressures put on someone’s heart.
   5. Dominance, for example, is someone who pressured us by controlling our lives.
   6. Expectations are unrealistic expectations someone feels they must meet to be loved.
   7. Fill out each of the four categories of pressure patterns, emotional issues, abuse issues and spiritual issues.
   8. Put a “F” for father, a “M” for mother, and a “S” for spouse.
   9. Mark as many or as few as needed for each box.
   10. This will explain both the person and the nature of the pain that damaged your heart.
5. The Forgiveness Worksheets
   1. This exercise is divided into two different sheets.
   2. The first one is People who have hurt me.
   3. The second one is Family Members who have hurt me.
   4. An optional third sheet is for the formerly married and is Spouse who has hurt me.
   5. List the name of the specific person, the specific incident of hurting you, and the specific pain words it caused you.
   6. Pray through each page one person, one incident and the pain words at a time using the prayer at the bottom of the page to fill in the information.
   7. The only choice we have when someone sins is: 1) They pay, or 2) I pay for their wrongs.
   8. God chose to pay for our sins, and we are called to do the same in our relationships with others.
   9. Remember reconciliation and forgiveness are different from one another.
6. A Personal History of the Heart
   1. Go back as far as you remember and describe your home, your parent’s marriage, and the events that changed your life.
   2. Write down the good and the bad of your home.
   3. Describe the emotional wounds and trauma you experienced growing up.
   4. If you still remember it, it has meaning.
   5. Write down any “vows” you made in pain.
   6. Write down the people who loved you the most and what they did to make you feel loved.
   7. Describe your relationships with the opposite sex up to the present moment.
   8. Go back and circle significant moments and events.
   9. Pay particular attention to those events that bring back strong emotions even now.
   10. List the good things that you wish people had done for you that they did not.
7. Identifying Your Core Issues
   1. This is a simple exercise to you understand the core pain issues you carry in your heart.
   2. Write the down your top six pain words in the right hand column of the worksheet entitled, “Identifying One’s Core Emotional Issues.”
   3. Choose these words from your Emotional Pain Words Sheet.
   4. Next, find the slanted arrows on the top of the worksheet, “Identifying One’s Core Emotional Issues.”
   5. Now turn to the “Damaged Relationships” worksheet.
   6. Choose the five most damaging pressure patterns or others issues you have written down on your sheet.
   7. These most damaging relationships may be with your father, mother or ex-spouse or love interest.
   8. Write these five most damaging relationship issues on the slanted lines beneath the title, “Contributing Factors.”
   9. You can abbreviate or briefly describe each of these Contributing Factors in the space provided.
   10. Write in the middle of the page your “Core Pain Statement.”
   11. This statement should be a summary of your core pain combining the “Contributing Factors” and the resulting “Pain Words.”
   12. Your Core Pain Statement should only be four or five sentences long.
   13. Start with a simple statement like, “A little boy (or girl) was damaged by their father or their mother when he or she…”
   14. Now write an “Emotional Affirmation” statement that shares how God and someone else could care for your emotional pain.
   15. This should be the exact opposite of the Core Pain Statement.
   16. It is a statement of how God and someone else could love the pain away.
8. The Pride Worksheet
   1. Pride is at the root of all sin so it is important that we are aware of how pride is at work in us.
   2. Fill out the worksheet entitled, “Identifying Pride.”
   3. Read through the list of 18 statements on the page and mark each one that applies to you.
   4. You can mark as few or as many as you wish.
   5. Once you have completed the sheet go to the prayer at the bottom of the page.
   6. Insert each line you have checked in the prayer.
   7. Humility is the opposite of pride and opens our heart to God and each other.
   8. As God continues to bring other pride issues to your life, be quick to confess and renounce them.
   9. Pride is the ultimate cause of every sin in life.
9. Negative Thoughts Worksheet
   1. Check each negative you have experienced with some frequency.
   2. You can check as few or as many as you wish.
   3. Each of these is a statement of rejection that can lock our heart.
   4. Once you completed checking the negative thoughts, pray simply, “I reject each and every one of these thoughts as a lie and I choose to take each thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
10. The Moral Failure Worksheet
    1. Each time we commit moral failure it creates a negative soul bond with the person we sinned with.
    2. Moral failure locks our heart until the sin is confessed and renounced.
    3. List each moral violation you participated in.
    4. You need not show this list to anyone else.
    5. Privately pray through each moral failure using the prayer at the bottom of the page.
11. Occult Involvement Worksheet
    1. Fill out the sheets, “Occult Involvement” and “Occult Phenomenon/Exposure to False Teaching/Drug Use.”
    2. The “occult” means to “cover over” or “conceal” or “operate in the darkness.”
    3. Check each area you have participated in both past and present.
    4. If your parents or family participated in these activities mark them as well.
    5. Past involvement with occult practices can seriously damage our hearts.
    6. This involvement can include attending seances, using Ouji boards, reading horoscopes, transcendental meditation, or involvement with a cult or false religion.
    7. All such involvement opens us up to spiritual bondage.
    8. Spiritual strongholds in our lives can produce bitterness, unbelief, lust and fear.
    9. Freedom begins by knowing Jesus Christ won the final victory of dark forces.
    10. We must specifically confess and renounce all involvement with the occult.
    11. Ask Jesus Christ to take back the ground you gave to the enemy of your souls.
    12. Your ultimate defense is your identity in Jesus Christ and claiming your position. “And Christ, having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the Cross.” Colossians 2:15
    13. Read 2 Corinthians 4:2, “Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways.”
    14. Utilize the prayer at the bottom of the page to confess and renounce your involvement in the occult or drugs.
12. Bringing our Pain to Jesus
    1. Now it’s time to our pain to Jesus for Him to disconnect the hurt.
    2. God wants to take our most painful events and show us His presence and purposes.
    3. We will ask Jesus to bring a Scripture, song or word picture to mind.
    4. Whatever we receive must always be consistent with God’s Word to be believed.
    5. Now let’s pray and ask Jesus three questions.
    6. Jesus what did this painful event do to my heart?
    7. Jesus, are you like the person who hurt me or are you different?
    8. Jesus, how would you heal a heart wounded by this pain?
    9. Listen for God to speak to your heart with a verse of Scripture, a song, or a word picture that will bring peace.
    10. You can repeat these prayers in your daily life as often as pain from the past reoccurs.