Marriage Minutes

Life Together with No Regrets

How can you live a life together with no regrets? Nothing is so tragic as a life or marriage poorly lived. It doesn’t have to end that way. The two of you, today, can begin living a life that leaves no regrets. How? Keep short accounts with each other. Say loving things to each other. Make time for your children. Give more than you take. Express real and sincere appreciation for the other person each and every day. Keep all your promises. Most of all make Christ the center of your marriage. Do this and you’ll be able to say, “I have finished the race…” with nothing to regret.

Remember, marriage is for better, for worse, and for keeps.

2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

For Better, For Worse, For Keeps Ministries © 2013

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Living Together Before Marriage

Just because our culture has changed to see no shame in living together before marriage, does not mean that God has changed his inerrant Word.

“Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” Proverbs 30:5

 What’s wrong with living together first, before marriage?
1. Living together first is becoming the norm rather than the exception in our society.
2. Even some who identify themselves as Christians are following this trend.

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is vertical in nature. It is between you and God primarily. Forgiveness is not optional, it is commanded by God regardless of a person’s state of heart or worthiness.  Reconciliation is an entirely different matter. You can forgive someone without their changing, but you cannot be reconciled to them.

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Combating Temptation

Run, don’t walk. When faced with sexual temptation, the Bible tells us to run and not to look back. Don’t slow down, until the other person is literally out of reach. Make whatever immediate (and even drastic) changes are needed in your life.  No sacrifice is too great, to protect and save your marriage from ruin.

How to Avoid An Affair 

1. What to say to the devil.

If the devil whispers in your ear, “Isn’t she (or he) hot?” simply respond by saying, “Yes, and so is hell.” Remember, the devil hates you and hates God and only wants your complete destruction, not your happiness and fulfillment.

2. The wallet shield.

When tempted by someone else, immediately take out a wallet picture of your husband and children. Look at their faces carefully and then imagine the conversation, you will inevitably need to have one day, if you violate your marriage vows. Remember, these are the precious handful of people on earth, who have trusted you the most. Try and imagine packing the things you own in life, in your car and pulling out of the driveway, while your youngest child chases after you, screaming, “Mommy, please don’t leave. When are you coming home again? Please don’t go.” You’ll have to respond, “I’m sorry, but Mommy and Daddy can’t live together anymore. I can’t explain it all to you, but someday you’ll understand.” If you knew such an intensely sad and agonizing moment inevitably awaits you, wouldn’t it pop the powerful fantasy you’re toying with right now?

3. Think clearly.

Ask yourself a realistic question, “If the person I’m drawn to is willing to cheat on his spouse in order to have me, what’s to keep him from cheating on me in the future, if he meets someone more attractive?”

4. Remember the return of Christ.

When I stand someday in the presence of Jesus Christ (which we all will) and look Him in the eye, will He accept whatever excuse I’m using at the moment, to be unfaithful to my spouse?

5. Repeat this to yourself. When tempted by someone, literally repeat to yourself, “He cannot complete me. Only my Jesus can fill every empty place in my heart.”

You are not especially cool or hot. That is not why you are being tempted.  After you’ve traded away your spiritual integrity and sexual purity, will you be more or less a person than you were before?

6. Run, don’t walk. When faced with sexual temptation the Bible tells us to run and not to look back.

Don’t slow down, until the other person is literally out of reach.

Make whatever immediate (and even drastic) changes are needed to your schedule, friendships, job situations, home location, sports team participation, social circles, church small group, church attendance, church ministry, or Internet access to unplug the temptation. Then do more than what seems necessary, to put hedges, walls, safeguards between you and the person you’re tempted to pursue (or being pursued by). No sacrifice is too great right now, to protect and save your marriage from ruin. Memorize appropriate Scripture.

7. Examine the hole in your heart.

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the damaged portion of your heart that gives the world, the flesh and the devil the opportunity they’ve been waiting for. Once you see the real cause of your longing for someone other than your spouse, you’ll discover it has nothing to do with genuine love, fulfilling sexual experiences or emotionally intimate relationships. Instead it only has to do with the devil offering to meet a legitimate need in your life in an illegitimate way. Recognize the false intimacy he’s offering you and don’t allow him to rent any space in your head. It’s simple and plain S-I-N.

A friend of ours told of stepping into an elevator in a hotel, on a business trip, far out of state. As the doors opened two attractive women approached him in a provocative way and said, “Do you like pretty girls?”

Without hesitation he replied, “Yes, and I am married to one back home.” The two women turned away and exited before the elevator doors closed. Yes, temptation may come, but recognize it and run.

“She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.”

Genesis 39:12

From Chapter 6 from The Marriage Miracle: How Soft Hearts Can Make a Couple Strong by Bob and Cheryl Moeller

Remember, marriage is for better for worse for keeps.

For Better, For Worse, For Keeps Ministries © 2013

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Why Couples Stay Stuck for a Lifetime

Sadly, couples can spend most of their married life feeling distant and unfulfilled.  Even if they pursue counseling for their marriage they may soon revert back to the old patterns.

Why is it that some couples just can’t seem to make progress in their marriage?

1.  The commitment to the marriage may be unequal; one partner wants to try while the other does not.

2.  Change in a marriage takes hard work and some folks are just too lazy to make the effort.

3.  The lies they believe about themselves and each other seem just too strong and so remain deceived.

4.  Drugs of choice are used: alcohol, street drugs, misuse of prescription drugs, cutting, gambling, busyness, porn, illicit relationships, etc.

5.  They fail to turn to God as the source of their strength and instead rely on themselves.

How do you make real progress?

1.  Real change in a marriage is possible if both spouses will humble themselves before God.

2.  Get Biblical help for your marriage before Stage V cancer; even then God can work miracles.

3.  Consider joining a group like Celebrate Recovery for addictions.

4.  Real change will take place when spouses substitute the truth of God’s Word for the old messages they have believed.

5. Real change ultimately happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27

Remember, marriage is for better for worse for keeps.

For Better, For Worse, For Keeps Ministries © 2013

 

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